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Here's tha fukken movies bitch | |||
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Christy Santas First Female Reindeer (1996) Description: Santa raises and trains his first female reindeer, Christy. A special effects extravaganza for the whole family. |
Nine Deaths of the Ninja (1985) Description: Two anti-terrorist agents are assigned to free a busload of American schoolchildren in the Philippines who are taken hostage by terrorists. |
The Town That Outlawed Christmas (2000) Description: A battle for Christmas ensues as Dudley D. Dink and his henchmen wage war against the less than innocent kids of Dinkville. Laugh out loud hi jinx and outrageous misunderstandings result as both sides learn the true meaning of Christmas. |
Body Slam (1986) Description: A rock & roll wrestling comedy with an unscrupulous music promoter latching onto wrestling as his meal ticket. |
Trained to Kill (1989) Description: After a retired US army man is murdered by a crime lord, his two sons, one of them adopted after the old man rescued him from Cambodia during the Vietnam war, train hard and then start looking for the criminal to avenge their father. |
Anonymous Rex (2004) Description: Dinosaurs didn’t go extinct. Today, every 1/10000 people in the country is a dinosaur, human-sized, wearing holographic disguises, and by their laws any human who finds them is executed. Two dino PIs are hired to investigate a suicide and discover a cult that wants dinokind to come out of the closet. |
Enter the Ninja (1981) Description: After just completing his training at a ninja school, an army vet travels to the Philippines and finds himself battling a land grabber who wants his war-buddy’s property. He must also fight his rival. |
Night Train to Terror (1985) Description: God and Satan are on a train discussing the fate of three individuals. The stories of the people in question are told in a trio of very strange vignettes. One involves an insane anylum with some very interesting treatment plans. Another involves a ‘death club’. The final story shows us the adventures of a server of Satan. This is a strange movie. |
A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (1990) Description: In a post-Armageddon world, a young woman finds herself in a fight for survival against mutant cavemen, dinosaurs and other prehistoric animals. Editor's Note: This is an uber-cheesy Troma movie. |
Hollow Point (1996) Description: Livingston is trying to merge the Russians, Chinese and Italian gangsters into one group with huge amounts of money and power. FBI agent Susan and DEA agent Max are trying to stop them. |
Cannonball! (1976) Description: This is another story of the secret Coast to Coast auto race across America The only rule is, the first to finish is the winner. Naturally, anyone driving 55 isn’t going to win. They’ll need to drive a little faster than that. Well actually, they will need to drive a LOT faster that 55. |
The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here! (1972) Description: The daughter in a family of werewolves decides to put an end to the family curse. |
Bloodfist (1989) Description: Don Wilson plays retired kickboxer Jake Raye, who travels to Manila, where his brother is favored to win a kickboxing competition. His brother is killed, and Jake realizes he must enter the competition himself to flush out his brother’s killer. |
Bloodfist II (1990) Description: Kickboxing champion Jake Raye thought his fighting days were over, until a call from an old friend draws him to the Far East and into the hands of a madman. This time Jake’s fighting for his life! |
Bloodfist III: Forced to Fight (1992) Description: Jimmy Boland is a man unjustly accused of a brutal crime. Within the prison he must fight for survival, freedom and justice. |
Bloodfist IV: Die Trying (1992) Description: When Danny unknowingly repossesses the car of a powerful arms merchant, it sets off a chain of violent retaliation. After his friends are killed and his daughter is kidnapped, Danny takes matters into his own hands. It does not matter that the CIA and the FBI are also involved the Dragon’s fire is in his fists! |
Bloodfist V: Human Target (1994) Description: Don “The Dragon” Wilson struggles to regain his memory, not knowing who to trust, or even which side he’s fighting on. |
Bloodfist VI: Ground Zero (1995) Description: Terrorists take over a nuclear weapons launch site, but don’t count on a humble military courier, who happens to be making a visit. |
Bloodfist VII: Manhunt (1995) Description: Jim Trudell is a man pursued. Branded a cop-killer, he must fight simply to stay alive, and to clear his name – with the very police who framed him. |
Bloodfist VIII: Trained to Kill (1996) Description: A former CIA agent (Wilson) lives a suburban life as a high school teacher with his teen son (White). When the agent is attacked by former allies because of knowledge he possesses and his son is kidnapped, he is forced back into the business and his son suddenly sees a side of his father that he never knew existed. |
Black Samurai (1976) Description: Robert Sand's has to save his girlfriend: the daughter of a top Ambassador. The ransom was for a freeze bomb – but the ‘Warlock’ is also drug dealing and doing Voodoo ritual murders. From Hong Kong to California through Miami, against bad men, bad girl, and bad animals. |
No Escape (1994) Description: A soldier convicted for murdering his commanding officer is dumped and left to die on a prison island inhabited by two camps of convicts. |
The Mangler (1995) Description: A laundry-folding machine has been possessed by a demon, causing it to develop homicidal tendencies. |
The Wizard of Speed and Time (1988) Description: A Hollywood filmmaker (Mike Jittlov) makes a short for an evil film studio. Unbeknownest to him, the producer has placed a bet of $25,000 that he won’t come up with anything with a use. Luckily, our film creator gets the help of his friends. |
Sworn to Justice (1996) Description: After attackers kill her sister and nephew, a female psychologist becomes a defense witness by day and avenger by night. |
Five Element Ninjas (1982) Description: A young martial artist seeks revenge on the Ninja who kills his martial arts brothers and teacher. He finds help in the form of a new teacher (who knows Ninjitsu) and new brothers. Together the four pupils face the Five Element Ninja challenge: Wood, Earth, Gold, Water, and Fire. |
King Kong Escapes (1967) Description: King Kong is brought in by an evil ruler to dig for precious gems in a mine when the robot MechaKong is unable to do the task. This leads to the machine and the real Kong engaging in a tremendous battle that threatens to level Japan. |
The Yakuza (1974) Description: American private-eye Harry Kilmer returns to Japan to rescue a friend’s kidnapped daughter from the clutches of the Yakuza. |
Treasure of the Yankee Zephyr (1981) Description: A drunken deer hunter, his pilot colleague and his daughter compete with a villainous treasure hunter to reach a lake nestled among the mountains of New Zealand, where a WWII-era plane wreck carrying a fortune in gold is submerged. |
The Toxic Avenger (1984) Description: Tromaville has a monstrous new hero. The Toxic Avenger is born when mop boy Melvin Junko falls into a vat of toxic waste. Now evildoers will have a lot to lose. |
Chinese Hercules (1973) Description: A martial arts fighter, haunted by his past, takes a job as a dock worker in a small village. His vow never to fight again is tested by the cruel owner of the pier. |
American Shaolin (1991) Description: After being humiliated in the ring by a dirty kickboxer who pulled down his shorts and then hit him, a martial arts master decides to travel to China and enter a monastery where he may learn the Shaolin form of fighting. Editor's Note: Supposedly in the No Retreat, No Surrender series. |
Broken Oath (1977) Description: Angry and aggressive orphan Lotus Lin gets raised as a Buddhist in a Shaolin temple after her mother dies in the wake of giving birth to her in prison. Consumed with rage, Lin gets expelled from the temple and decides to exact a harsh revenge on the four men who killed her father and sent her mother to jail. |
Police Force (1973) Description: A man who joins the HK police force to track down a murderer and then struggles with his desire for vengeance and his new-found respect for the law. |
War Party (1988) Description: A group of re-enactors attempt to stage a hundred year anniversary battle between US Cavalry and Blackfeet Indians. Unfortunately racial hostilities and a real gun lead to some all too real casualties, and three young Blackfoot men are caught in the middle. The film follows their flight for freedom in the face of an angry community |
Fast Getaway (1991) Description: A lighthearted tale about a gang of bank robbers who fall out and split up. The brains of the gang is a boy who, with his father, successfully continue their crime spree. Annoyed at this, Lilly and her loyal and stupid companion, decide to kidnap the boy, Nelson, and force him to work for them. |
10 to Midnight (1983) Description: A LAPD detective is on the trail of a very handsome young man who had been seducing and slashing many young women to death. |
Hangar 18 (1980) Description: Shortly after the launch of a satellite from a space shuttle the satellite collides with an UFO in front of the crew’s eyes. Because of an election campaign some politicians try to hide the crashed UFO — inside hangar 18. |
Night of the Seagulls (1975) Description: The Knight Templars return in this fourth installment of the Blind Dead series. On this outing, the Templars haunt a fishing village, where they rise seven nights every seven years to claim their sacrificial offerings in return for the safety of the townspeople. |
Sci-fighters (1996) Description: Boston, 2009. A police detective (Roddy Piper) searches for Adrian Dunn, his ex-partner (Billy Drago) who murdered his wife. Dunn has escaped from prison on the moon and returned to Earth with an alien virus. |
The Arrival (1996) Description: Zane, an astronomer, discovers intelligent alien life. But the aliens are keeping a deadly secret, and will do anything to stop Zane from learning it. |
Deep Red (1994) Description: After a young girl is accidentally infected with an alien substance known as “Deep Red”, the astonishing results attract the attention of the illustrious scientist Dr. Newmeyer. Disillusioned security expert Joe Keyes must team up with his estranged wife to protect the girl and her mother from the obsessed scientist who will stop at nothing to get what he wants. |
Prince of the Sun (1990) starring Cynthia Rothrock Description: Cynthia Rothrock helps to protect a Buddhist boy from villains who wish to stop him from becoming the Prince of the Sun. |
An Eye for an Eye (1981) Description: Sean Kane is forced to resign from the San Francisco Police Department’s Narcotics Division when he goes berserk after his partner is murdered. He decides to fight alone and follows a trail of drug traffickers into unexpected high places. |
Silent Warnings (2003) Description: In a small Oregon town, mysterious crop circles have begun appearing in Joe’s corn fields. When Joe’s cousin, his five college friends and local Sheriff Willingham happen upon the otherworldly designs, they unleash unfathomable terror. |
China O Brien (1990) starring Cynthia Rothrock Description: China O’brien; big city police woman; martial arts trainer, is forced to hand in her badge and head home to her father and the small town where she grew up. The peaceful town she knew is now struggling against the clutches of organized crime. When her father, the town sheriff, is killed China decides to run for his position and clean up the town. The poll results spark a series of confrontations that finally decide who runs the town |
China O Brien II (1990) starring Cynthia Rothrock Description: This time China O’Brien has trouble with a dealer who puts a prize on her head because she had spoiled an important drug deal of his. But all the world’s criminals will not be enough to catch up with China, one of the masters of the martial arts. |
To All a Goodnight (1980) Description: A group of teenagers at a party find themselves being stalked by a maniacal killer in a Santa Claus costume. |
Wrath of Daimajin (1966) Description: In a mountainous region of Japan, Lord Arakawa kidnaps the men of nearby villages to use as slave labor, producing gunpowder from his sulfur pits. A band of young boys decide to rescue their enslaved fathers on their own. |
Dollman (1991) Description: A hard-boiled, intergalactic policeman lands on Earth where he is only 12 inches tall. |
Lady Dragon (1992) starring Cynthia Rothrock Description: An ex-CIA agent (Kathy Gallagher) living in Indonesia tracks Ludvig Hauptman, the arms dealer who killed her husband. Along the way, she meets a young boy and his grandfather, who teach her in the ways of the Lady Dragon. |
Hidden Assassin (1995) Description: A CIA agent gets caught up in political intrigue after he gets brought in to solve the murder of a Cuban ambassador. |
The One and Only (1978) Description: 1951: Andy Schmidt is in his last year of college. Taking life easy and always a saucy joke on his lips, he manages to win fellow student Mary’s heart, although she’s already otherwise engaged. But getting a job after college turns out much harder than he expected. Most directors take offense at his free interpretation of his roles. Desperate, he tries in wrestling. To avoid getting beaten up he stages the fights – and incidentally invents show-wrestling. |
Night Terrors (2014) Description: A devious older sister fills her brother’s head with bizarre tales of terror, blood soaked memories, and nightmares of perversion after finding out that she has to babysit and miss the party. |
The Legacy (1978) Description: A millionaire and a million-dollar prostitute, a star-maker and a nation-killer, a woman whose lusts are as cold as graveyard snow…Five of the most powerful people in the world, gathered in an ancient mansion to inherit a Legacy of bloodsome horror. And Maggie makes six. |
Hardware (1990) Description: The head of a cyborg reactivates, rebuilds itself, and goes on a violent rampage in a space marine’s girlfriend’s apartment. |
Near Dark (1987) Description: A small-town farmer’s son reluctantly joins a traveling group of vampires after he is bitten by a beautiful drifter. |
Nighthawks (1981) Description: Conservative street cop DaSilva reluctantly agrees to terminate an international terrorist who has demanded media attention. But DaSilva’s “at-home” tactics are very much put to the challenge. |
Happy Hell Night (1992) Description: 25 years ago at Winfield College, psycho-priest Zachary Malius murdered seven frat boys and was put away in the local asylum. Now, however, the same fraternity stages a prank from which Malius is inadvertently set free and returns to the house to repeat his crime. |
Eyes of Fire (1983) Description: A reverend, Will Smythe, and his followers are chased out of town after Smythe is accused of adultery and polygamy. Joined by a rugged woodsman, Marion Dalton, who wants his cheating wife, the group ventures into a valley, where dwells an ancient evil spirit. As members of the group start to disappear, the witch-bred, insane Leah must discover how to thwart the spirit. |
Rage and Honor (1992) starring Cynthia Rothrock Description: Story about an inner-city high school teacher who musters the martial arts to thwart the lure of street gangs and their seductive plague of drugs. |
Rage and Honor II (1993) starring Cynthia Rothrock Description: Kris and Preston team up once again to take on powerful gangster Buntao. But, Buntao has problems of his own, dealing with Dazo, another gangster who is on a steady rise to power. |
Expect No Mercy (1995) Description: A maniacal leader trains assassins to become more efficient killing machines through virtual reality. A Federal Service Agent is assigned to infiltrate the mysterious academy. |
Amazons (1986) Description: An epic from the dark ages about the legendary lost tribe of warrior women! The girls fly into danger, come up against fierce tribes, fall prey to sorcery, put to rest a family rivalry of centuries past and battle to victory! |
Tiger Claws (1991) starring Cynthia Rothrock The police do not know what to do. They have to deal with a serial killer who aims at martial arts masters. One after another is killed in the same brutal way. This may be a chance for detective Linda Masterson to work on her first murder case. She gets the job and to her side an other martial arts specialist, Sgt. Tarek Richards. Now they need to find a tiger style master, because the killer obviously uses tiger style kung fu. Not a simple task, since tiger is a very ancient and rare style. |
Tiger Claws II (1996) starring Cynthia Rothrock The Tiger Claws killer is broken out of jail by a former colleague, who acquires a large shipment of weapons and schemes to open a portal to the past into an ancient martial arts temple. |
Tiger Claws III (2000) starring Cynthia Rothrock When a martial artist called Stryker resurrects three ancient Chinese master assassins so he can take over NYC’s underworld, it’s up to martial artist cop Tarek Richards to stop them. But he will need the aid of Stryker’s former master. |
Primal Scream (1987) Description: In the future, a private detective tries to stop a large corporation from mining an element whose side effects include igniting human flesh and destroying internal body parts. |
The War of the Gargantuas (1966) Description: An experimental lab animal called a gargantua escapes from his captors and is suspected to be the creature that is killing people all over the countryside. But when the gargantua from the lab appears at the same time as the evil gargantua, the two begin to battle across Japan. |
Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984) Description: Somebody with very little Christmas spirit is killing anyone in a Santa suit one London holiday season, and Scotland Yard has to stop him before he makes his exploits an annual tradition. |
Summer Camp Nightmare (1987) Description: A group of campers revolt against their strict camp director and take over the camp for themselves. |
One Hell of a Christmas (2002) Description: Carlitos is released after doing 2 years of “hard time”, and attempts to redeem himself and set an example for his 5 year-old son. When a friend confronts him with a very dark and horrifying scam for some quick dough and good times, he declines, but nevertheless finds himself entangled in a web of sex, drugs and Christmas carols. |
Above the Law (1986) Description: Yuen Biao plays Jason Chan a lawyer, angry at the way the law seems to protect the bad guys, he decides to take the law into his own hands when a key witness and his entire family are murdered. but Cindy Si is soon on his case and it all spirals into a situation only a few will survive. |
The Lady in Red Kills Seven Times (1972) Description: A long time ago there were two sisters, a red queen and a black queen. They grew up hating each other. Finally the black queen killed the red queen by stabbing her seven times. The red queen came back from the dead and killed six people then killed the black queen. This cycle repeats it self every 100 years. But its only a legend…right? |
Shogun Assassin (1980) Description: When the wife of the Shogun’s Decapitator is murdered and he is ordered to commit suicide by the paranoid Shogun, he and his four-year-old son escape and become assassins for hire, embarking on a journey of blood and violent death. |
Stagefright (1987) Description: A troupe of struggling stage actors is rehearsing for a small-town production of a play. Everything seems to be as it should until one of the cast members turns up dead. In a panic, the others try to get out, only to find they are now locked in the theater with the killer! Which one of them committed the murder, and who will get out alive? |